Being Misunderstood Hurts

Being misunderstood is a painful experience. Sometimes when we try to explain our true motives and make peace with the misunderstander we end up making the situation worse. Often the situation is such that we can’t say or do anything.

Once when I worked in a church office, a woman decided that a decision made by the pastoral staff had been my decision. She stopped speaking. Later, in a large group of people she brought up the subject and cast blame in my direction. I couldn’t explain that the person she wanted to exonerate had been the one who made the unpopular decision, not me.

 Perhaps I should’ve spoken privately with this woman about the matter. But at the time, I felt confrontation would stir controversy and prolong hard feelings. I felt hurt and betrayed. One day when other staff members left for lunch, I went into the sanctuary to talk to the Lord about the lump of pain that had lodged in my chest over the misunderstanding. Many tears later, I sensed the Lord say, “She just doesn’t understand.” This bit of information made it easier for me to put the misunderstanding behind me and forgive. 

Jesus was misunderstood by nearly everyone close to Him –  parents, siblings, disciples and religious leaders. Yet he prayed for His tormentors – “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) No one is better equipped than Jesus to help us when we’re misunderstood.

Lord, I lay the pain of being misunderstood before you. I don’t want it to affect my relationship with you. Move in the recesses of my soul and heal my wounds. Show me how to respond to those who’ve hurt me. Give me your strength to respond in your way.


About rosemccormickbrandon

An award winning personal experience writer, Rose McCormick Brandon is a frequent contributor to faith magazines, devotionals and compilations, including Chicken Soup for the Soul. Rose is the author of Promises of Home: Stories of Canada's British Home Children (2014). One Good Word Makes all the Difference (2013), He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me (2012) and Vanished: What Happened to My Son. She's a frequent contributor to The Testimony, Today's Pentecostal Evangel and other faith magazines in Canada, U.S. and Australia. Rose also writes about Canadian history, specifically the era of Child Immigration from Britain. Read her stories of child immigrants at:
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4 Responses to Being Misunderstood Hurts

  1. Anne Laidlaw says:

    Good word, Rose.
    I’m convicted on how important it is for us not to judge others prematurely.
    I’m glad the Lord is our comforter.

    Bless you

    • So true about judging Anne – It’s impossible to live and not be misunderstood but it’s also true that we regularly misunderstand others. Jesus brings sense to our complications . . .

  2. Sharon Aronson says:

    Hi Rose,

    Reading your posts makes me feel like we are having a personal visit over a cup of tea in your kitchen like we used to do. I remember those times very fondly.
    This particular post struck a chord in my spirit.
    Indeed the solution to these times of misunderstanding is taking Jesus’ yoke upon myself and learning from Him to deal with life’s hurts the way He did and it brings peace and rest to my soul.


    • Hi Sharon – Yes, all those great chats – so imbedded in my memory – pleasant and inspiring times. We’ve so much to learn from Jesus . . . and, speaking for myself, so much re-learn 🙂

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